Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
