I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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