did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He kissed a someone with a penis
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
