i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
