What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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