so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
