OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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