I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
