Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
