You're so nebulous sometimes
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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