We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
