I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
