Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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