my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
