I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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