cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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