His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
