Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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