hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
