I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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