shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
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