i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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