I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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