My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
