Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
