i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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