He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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