I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
