I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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