How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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