i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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