i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize