She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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