I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
