I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
