Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
