Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
