porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
