Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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