i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
