If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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