hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
