First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
