Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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