My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
