Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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