You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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