You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
