wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I love you. Go after that dick
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
