Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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