so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
