I feel great
I just peed on a car
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
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