i think my mom watched the whole time
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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