i jhust puked up my retainher.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I didn't shave. On purpose
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
